Letter to the Ladies: Find that Sweet Spot

Dear Ladies,

This is neither Lee Fields-ish, nor a love letter to touch your heart. But, like R.Kelly, we (men) do condone getting together and multiplying, or less seriously sharing love.

R. Kelly’s Love Letter album cover

Ladies, please know that this is written with the best intentions imaginable, even though we are well aware of the pavement that is on the road to hell. With that said, we truly believe what follows can be helpful when dating.

When dating (or talking to) a man, and desiring it to last for more than mere moments, you must find that sweet spot (I don’t know what else to call it). The tricky part is the sweet spot is different for every man in every dating situation. It depends on the people involved and where they are in life, among other things. Also take into account your own nature by choosing a person you think is seemingly worthy of you—at the time—which is conceivably the best suitor.

Trying to balance everything when dating is an art, but it must be done. Controlled honesty without fear of a consequence is also a method for success in any relationship—even in the early stages of dating. So, to avoid that jilted feeling, or confusion as to why a guy flees, or not understanding why a guy can’t find it in him to commit long-term, or at least stay long enough for you to keep your pride, soul, self-image, reputation, and heart intact, after you do have sex; you must find that sweet spot.

If you’re still unclear exactly what the sweet spot is I am referring to, it is this…but before we clearly define it, you must know that this is not a sick ploy or an anti-moral or anti-religious stance I’m taking. This is just a real-world view on sex and dating. Ok, so the sweet spot is that optimum time when you should have sex with the person you are dating, or whatever.

You should not sleep with a guy too soon. Why? Because he may think you are too easy and he isn’t special. “Too soon” can be within thirty minutes of meeting him to a full month—maybe longer. Each guy is different. Basically, having sex too soon prevents the necessary respect or trust components of a relationship from being established. We could be wrong, but weigh this theory if you want a man to stay longer than a night.

You also should NOT wait too long before deciding you’ve made him wait long enough (to earn it) either. Face your fears or don’t. “Too long” can be outside of thirty minutes of meeting him or a full month–maybe longer. Each guy is different! Waiting too long is like pushing a resentment-button that results in anger or leads to a guy practicing his patience. He will wait you out just to find the quickest exit after that climax–pun intended. SO, a guy will date you out of spite…then spite you for making him wait too long. You being his only option alters things. Know the power you have. All while you are making him wait, he could be calling his sure-jumpoff-thing after each date with you. But you being his only option…he may be smart enough to stick around…until something better or new comes along. Waiting too long can also lead to the friend-zone–for both parties. 😦 Strike while the iron is hot.

Dating is unpredictable. Sometimes sex with a person may be unfulfilling and going your separate ways is necessary. Can’t know until you know. And, trying to mind your number is great so long as you marry a guy that cares, and that guy that cares doesn’t divorce you (50% chance in American). Have fun, regret shit later, then get smarter. There are many variables that we are not accounting for, but please know there is that “shit or get off the pot” type of timing a man has, as well as an alarm when the band-aid has been ripped off too quickly.  Good luck out there, Ladies; and, stay safe.

Sincerely yours,

Almost every man on the planet Earth

Thank you, Hardknocks: Miami Dolphins

Hi, Hardknocks: Miami Dolphins (episode 4):

Thank you, for a few things. First, thank you for producing a wonderful show that gives insight into the locker room and behind-the-scenes action of NFL teams—for years. Second, thank you for exposing the ineptitude of the Miami Dolphins coaching staff and front office.

Hardknocks: Miami Dolphins, you are brilliantly showing that coaches do not know how to ever take responsibility for their players’ failure to execute. You are almost being biased in showing how tough the Dolphin’s coaching staff is on their players while being terrible at teaching them. But, the great thing is: is that’s pretty much how 99.23% of coaches are in the entire profession—no matter the sport—so, this enlightenment is much appreciated.

Also, thank you for clearly showing the General Manager (who may know all of the appointed functions of the job) is missing what it takes to put a good team on the field. His history of poor production is known, but his rumored poor personal skills are being depicted too. This is great work you are doing by showing how entitled GM Ireland acts, when it is well known that the Dolphins need to win immediately. Like, you can’t cut your number one Wide Receiver, then not replace him. Nor can you trade a top Defensive Back in a pass-happy NFL as you get draft picks in return. (Note: draft picks he may not be around to have input on. But, let’s see how the season turns out.) Additionally, thank you for showing how it, the curious trade of Vontae Davis we heard about earlier this week, went down. Ireland’s poor decision-making is evidenced in how he made the trade. At least the Colts are happy.

Additionally, it’s brilliant the way you showed the distinction between the treatment of black players getting cut and the white players in the same position. This may not be objective on your part, but I have no reason to believe it’s not objective. I’m not stunned that when black players get cut, or get traded in Vontae Davis’s case, GM Ireland desires the conversation to cease as quickly and callously as possible. I guess that’s to be expected when you have men, who do not know how to relate to certain other men they are interacting with—and maybe afraid of—confront each other in a forced-awkward situation.

Conversely, white players get hugs, handshakes and seemingly personalized, genuine encouragement while receiving the tearful news. Also worth noting is the cut, black players wished for a chance, while the white players seemed gracious. That is… “interesting.”

Lastly, thank you for showing the viewer how uninspiring it would be to play for Coach Philbin. There had to be someone better suited for the job. Philbin is too busy worrying about players’ appearance, language, the lighting of rooms, and trash. He may be better suited as an Interior Designer or Grounds Keeper than a Head Coach.  This behind-the-scenes work will be all the Miami Dolphins shareholders and ownership will need to see if a tough decision needs to be made. This is a powerful show. We love it.

Best regards,

Another School of Thought

Letter to Chevrolet–or other American Carmakers.

Hi, Chevrolet:

I am an American that loves automobiles. I also would love to see your success in the auto-industry. What I am going to suggest is not innovative, but I believe that consumers, domestic and abroad, may–more seriously–consider Chevrolet automobiles. Why you, Chevy? Because I believe you have the greatest potential of American brands.

The idea is to: start with each of your premier vehicles and work backwards. For example, you have the Corvette. Why not create a Corvette Sedan as opposed to an Impala, or a Camaro Sedan instead of a Malibu? Maybe even a Corvette Truck. Americans still love their SUVs. The vehicles would be designed as the Corvette or Camaro, but with the addition of 2-doors and a larger frame or wider wheelbase. The thought is comparable to what Porsche has done with their vehicles.

Also, consider the same with the SUVs and Crossovers. You could have a Suburban Hybrid instead of the Traverse, making it a smaller version. Additionally, make a Tahoe Hybrid as opposed to the Equinox, or a Camaro Truck. Obviously, those vehicles should be similarly designed to the “parent” SUV. This general and simple idea may create a division between those with standard Corvettes, Camaros, Tahoes, and Suburbans but people do love those names; and would appreciate having a car with a namesake they like. And a name that has been around for a long time. A name, in the automobile industry, is everything.

The idea is simple. And, similar to other automobile companies that have more successful businesses, as of now.

Regards,

A concerned customer