We Need Each Other

We need each other. Men and Women. One cannot exist without the other. Thus, there shouldn’t be a battle between the sexes, so much as team work with the two. But ideas that gained traction; took flight; and gave birth to: laws, religious practices, stigmas, and major inequality between the sexes have bred a great divid between the sexes across the world.

The solution? It’s here. Encourage, love, support, cultivate, and adore each other as you would yourself. But yet, women are still fighting battles in the workplace, for their bodies, and respect in general. Things are looking up, the next era and generation will be so much better off given the pioneers of yesterday and today being brave enough to demand change.

The evolution must continue with embodying certain values in all of ourselves. And, no one should be exempt from guilt for perpetuating old concepts of gender roles. Once parents and communities start raising little girls to compete for accomplishments the same way boys are taught, then we will see equality, so long as this is done without any judgements about women desiring to be creators, leaders, or taking control of their own sexuality.

The healing process has started, and should be protected in order for the process to return the desired result. Equality.

American Rape Culture

Rape is not permissible under any circumstances. It is against the law; it’s harmful and scarring; and there are no available justifications for it…ever. But, why is rape so prevalent (with the understanding that rape is not so nicely categorized)? There is a spectrum of rape, although we must accept that rape cannot be qualified. It’s rape when charges are filed, when they aren’t, when no one knows, and when there isn’t media attention surrounding any one incident. It’s all rape–including, and especially, the statutory variety.

When it comes down to it, there aren’t any viable explanations or reasoning a person can give to justify why rape occurs; from the forceful taking of another’s body to the mental manipulation, by way of age disparity, drugs, or pressure, to achieve a similar result. But, why does it keep happening? Is it because our justice system has failed to make rapists pay, by demonizing the behavior of the victims, in courtrooms? And, there doesn’t seem to be any end to this wide-spread spectrum of rape in sight either. It could be that once the taboo surrounding sex is removed from the American culture, then rape in America can subside.

Yes, it could be that the sex culture in America has led to a rape culture. There are so many conflicting ideologies surrounding sex laid over the stigmas that come as a result of sex or sexual choices, coupled with very real consequences of the same, such as venereal disease and unwanted pregnancy. Outside of that, humans are beings that desire to reproduce and share affection by way of sex. But yet, Americans vilify sex through norms and religion. A girl has sex, without being married and she’s a whore? A man likes other men and has sex with them, so that man deserves to be beat ,tortured, killed, or can’t go to church? Having sex with a person outside of your race or ethnic identity leads to painful peer-scrutiny and being label or effectively banished from a group? Teenagers have sex, girl is impregnated, then her parents send her away because giving birth to another human is embarrassing? People watch pornography (a billion dollar industry) and it is considered shameful?  We are to blame. We’ve created a mess out of something so simple, which may be the cause of such a culture of rape and the false accusations of rape as well. There are some people who have used rape accusations offensively to not live up to their actions, such as cheaters and those having sex outside of their racial identity, or as an excuse for why they are pregnant, because it means you had sex and did it shamefully. Then, consider some people have rape fantasies. Explain that?

When will it be okay to admit that men and women want to have sex, and sex with others, and as much as the other gender? And, men and women want to have sex with whomever arouses them. What arouses them is based on a myriad of factors. Presently, men and women are bombarded with an image of sex and beauty, which could reasonably result in people desiring something in the likeness of those images. Women like men want to be desired. Women like men want to have sex. But, by nature women have to be more selective; and by culture they have to be more discerning than men. Simultaneously women don’t want to be emotionally hurt, labeled by the public, or have an undesirable result. Many women could find that not having sex is easier, especially when not being ready to handle the accompanying factors.

Men live in a culture where their selectivity doesn’t matter as much which potentially puts them in more situations where they find it hard (no puns here) to control themselves. Some men are influenced by the idea of sex making them men, impressing friends, wanting a particular experience, and the overbearing natural desire to copulate. As life teaches a boy or man, they find that aggressiveness is a viable means to be successful in any conquest, including sex, which leads them to taking something hoping to capture those fleeting moments of anticipated happiness.

Thus, you have a major conflict between sexes. Sexes that often times are required to mate for the sake of progeny. Two competing wills meet. As a result, people have designed and have used drugs to alter the atmosphere or environment. Women are fed birth control from the time they have their “period” so that they won’t become pregnant. Clearly, there’s a war on nature. Once men and women make the connection that birth controls says that having children are bad, you also believe that sex is too, even when that’s been redundantly pushed through various outlets. It could be baffling to a person that something so inherent in a person is so damned by the culture. It makes sense to create behavioral mechanisms in reaction to this seemingly damning situation. Rape being one of them. Blame the rapist, but the culture deserves some responsibility too.

Cops and Robbers

How mad would you be if you couldn’t distinguish the cops from the robbers? Take a step back. Forget that! How mad would you be if the cops and robbers worked together? Basically, the cops being the robbers and vice versa?Not even robbers….rapists, thieves, murderers, and the like. You couldn’t trust anyone, right? And, you would take a stand and stand up for yourself–right? You would probably arm yourself and live with a high level of paranoia–probably?

Well, that is happening. Not with the actual police and criminals–all the time–but with other people in similar dichotomous situations. For example, law makers and those entities that the laws are in place to manage and regulate the conduct of. I’m really speaking to big business. How can you trust the laws and the elected officials that legislate or the agencies that regulate for the more specific details? How can you feel protected? What is the recourse available to citizens that are being bled by the tax codes, banks, energy companies and more while those companies circumvent the system and their representatives reap the benefits? Much is mentioned about the revolving door that is Congress and Lobbying (or those in-house as Governmental Relations people for companies). That’s how it is that the cops are the robbers.

When the law fails to deter or control conduct in a meaningful way, there is no point in the law. If those who are supposed to enforce the law are those helping to break it…oh man. And, you have to hope that is the minority of enforcers, or enforcement will be a farce. It’s a farce.

We are all living together, but it’s not harmoniously at the moment. It stems from a very selfish perspective on life and it’s painful to many in a pervasive manner through many aspects of life. :

Diversity of thought, class, background, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity and so on, are needed dynamics, which are lacking. And academic attainment is being used as an excuse to draw a line. education fosters group think and kills diversity. So the diversity that is supposed offer divergence in thought is only a masquerade ball for those similarly situated. Diversity will make for more active and effective discussions for progress. And, there’s some, but not in all facets. But, when best friends and people of the same thought, class, and so forth are on both sides of the law, it’s going to create a shit storm for the rest. It’s Shit Storming by the way.

Still Valid to Fear Your Libido, Public Figures?

Be a sexual being, by all legal means, but if you are a public figure, then think twice about that. Public figures that are married should practice monogamy with their spouse. Others still ought to be responsible. (But what is responsible in an era where sex is readily accessible via the Internet and Sexting?) Public figures encompass everyone from politicians, to actors, to artists, to athletes, to other high-level officials. Seemingly, the greatest tool to find chinks in the amour of a public figure is by casting aspersions on their sexual exploits, not the substantive effects of their on the job decision making. Even in this evolving age of sexual acceptance, sexually deviant acts still damage the character of a person like no other. It’s just amazing how the private life of a person behind closed doors can affect how they are received publicly.

As awesome as social media and phones with camera functions are, they are dangerous to the character of a person given how the aforementioned items can lead to the downfall of a public figure for their “sexual indiscretions.” There is no quicker way to defame a person than suggesting they are less than wholesome in the sex department. Do you ever wonder what is going through the mind of the journalist, who is a sexual being, when reporting on the facts that knowingly could lead to the demise of that public figure? Is it clear public figures must have screwed over the wrong person when they get caught with their hands in the cookie jar? Certainly, some might get exposed collaterally under the misguided effort of another to make a fiscal gain.

What is a public figure to do? They should keep their noses clean. They have lots of power, prestige, and as a result people want to get next to them. They also have a great responsibility. But should they just stop doing what everyone else realizes is a perk of the job; or, are the masses going to come to the conclusion that what a person does in the privacy of their bedroom, so long as it is “legal” (thinking mainly of age requirement and consent issues), has no bearing on the quality of work that person is capable of professionally? Some may only do their job well because of the sexual acts they are able to engage in. Others could potentially be distracted by such engagements. It depends on the person. Thusly, it could be reasonable to question all of their choices.

The real issue is how this is affecting the moral fiber of a nation. The other issue is whether the nation even cares about the private sexual acts of public figures anymore. When kids hear about Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Anthony Weiner, Bret Favre, Larry Craig, or sex parties other such people host; do those kids grow up thinking that they still want to be the President, a great athlete, or successful politician so they can behave similarly? Maybe the youngsters want to restore the prestige of the positions. Maybe HBO’s airing of Real Sex and other late-night cable programs over expose the youngsters and their desire to engage in sex outweighs their desire to have a clean sexual reputation.

It could be that the perspective on acceptable behavior during marriage is tainted, while redefining the purpose of marriage. No matter how deplorable certain sexual acts may seem, less and less of the population is outraged by who and what they are doing. It’s more disappointing while being incredibly intriguing. It may be that the country has bigger problems to confront. Then, the media allows people to hear more details than ever. In fairness to the media, the media is only meeting the demands. Entertainment at it’s finest? Too bad it comes during the most shameful moment of another. Or is it a shameful moment?

Sexual exploits of a public figure should not bring down such a figure given it is a legal act. There are two reasons for that claim. First, the public figures should be smart enough not to get caught while abiding by the law. Second, if such a figure is caught, the amount of desensitization that has occurred given the history and exposure, the person should carry on as business as usual, unless of course that person was on the bubble.

Different parts of America view it differently, but having a vivid libido is not a regional phenomenon. Therefore shouldn’t enough people understand? Additionally, deplorable sexual acts of a public figure can only be classified as such because people have a level of expectation for those public figures. After the frequent disappointment by public figures, shouldn’t people get the picture that public figures aren’t what most think they are? Thusly, lowering expectations.

With this ever-changing culture, are people still keeping those old conventions of wisdom? At any rate, public figures ought to be smart about their decisions, if only to protect their career as opposed to a significant other. Those figures should also consider having more discipline because actions do have consequences. Obviously, sexual acts can be pleasurable, but they can be extremely harmful to those involved as well as uninvolved parties. Given that so many do not believe that public figures are not better than they are, why aren’t those same people more understanding of their blunders?

Being left with more questions than answers, harkening back to older principles is a consideration. 1) Do not sleep around because of fear of contracting an illness; 2) Do not sleep around for the possibility of creating a life with another person that will bind all parties as long as they live—even if that was not desired; 3) Understand that being with another person is about more than pleasure, but a romantic connection, which should be treated with respect.

Even though these prior statements may be parental guidelines for kids, they may be the best for everyone. But, it really seems that society is too far-gone and old ideals of morality are too.