When I was a child I lied. And, I lied a lot. I lied for several reasons. Usually for self-preservation. I lied to keep my parents from scolding me or finding myself dealing with other forms of trouble. I lied to keep things from changing too–mostly people’s opinion of me. I think I liked people’s opinion of me and wouldn’t want that to change. As things turned out, I would often end up getting caught in my lie. So as I got older, paid attention to others that lied, while taking my lessons from earlier in childhood, I had to stop telling lies all together. Or I tried. I still love lying for the sake of comedy–the truth quickly ensues. And, I’m sure I’ve told and continue to tell white-lies, embellish, and under sell circumstances. But, are telling white lies, embellishing, and even under informing about any given situation can be just as bad as a bold-face lie? And, telling lies is a complicated game, not so much for keeping up with your lies, but for the peace of mind you want.
Using Lance Armstrong, and others, who didn’t get in trouble for the substantive violation, but for lying about it, should give pause to us all. Just come clean. There are no short cuts. And, life has a way of catching up with us all (see Bernie Madoff and some may say O.J. Simpson). Basically, fess up or don’t mess up. Or, live your life and be happy with it. Call it as it is. Deception is a great thing when used to your advantage, but once you are caught in it, your trust is done and things will never be the same. This is age old stuff, but we need reminders. I mean, I guess the only thing worth lying about is murder, but we really shouldn’t be killing people. Just check your country’s or state’s laws–and holy books and stuff too. You may want to lie about stealing (in it’s various forms), but you probably shouldn’t be stealing either. I guess what I am really trying to say is don’t lie, and don’t do stuff that requires you to lie. But, shit happens. We aren’t perfect (a beautiful excuse).
I have lied about having assignments for school, having parts in plays, how well or poorly I did with a given situation, etc. And, I always lied about where I’ve been or planning to go when hanging out with friends. All lies I told to my parents. But, there is nothing more refreshing than the truth. It’s liberating. I thought it was ok to lie in order to allow another person to have peace of mind or continue to hold me in a certain regard. Sadly, when things are discovered their peace of mind is gone, and they will never trust your responses the same. Oh…I used to lie to teachers when I got into trouble, or I would try to talk my way out of trouble somehow–usually involving a lie or a distortion of the truth. All for self-preservation.
I like my trust. I want a person to know me and appreciate me. Being in a relationship, working for a company, having friends, whatever it may be. It’s best to tell the truth. We should be able to tell the truth without fear of the consequences in order to foster a more amicable environment. It’s better knowing the devil you’re with than another devil that you don’t know. And can you really know a liar?
In summary, tell the truth even if it causes people to change their perception of you. Be the person that you are and let people like or dislike you for you. Simplify your life.